Pick Up Lines
by HoRnIe DeMoN
Summary: Scenes featuring various characters from the BBC Show Merlin, each story is based on 1 or more pick up lines. I'm rating this M because there will be adult content like alcohol consumption and mentions of sex tho I don't plan on including any smut who knows. I'll include warnings & a summary in each chapter. Please feel free to leave suggestions 4 pick up lines or characters. ENJOY
1. Chapter 1 - Becoming

Becoming

Morgause fumed silently as she watched King Cenred of Mercia swagger into the throne room a good quarter of an hour past their agreed upon meeting time. _How dare he waste my time and then saunter in here as if this were an unexpected social call!_ Despite her outrage the blonde sorceress maintained a cool – albeit slightly annoyed – expression.

"Lady Morgause, how lovely of you to drop by!" The arrogant king greeted her as he approached.

"King Cenred." She replied in a clipped tone. "I'm sure you have a very good reason for keeping me waiting." Morgause continued, giving him a pointed look.

Cenred ignored the quip and smiled as he leaned over her hand and places a soft kiss on it. It was all Morgause could do not to rip her hand from his. _The things I do for family._

The king slowly pulled back from her practically undressing her with his eyes. Again Morgause felt a shiver of disgust. She was the last High Priestess of the Old Religion and far above some petty tyrant, but she needed an army and he had one, so he remained useful… for now.

"My my my Morgause, don't you look lovely this evening." Cenred's tone dripped with arrogance and what she supposed was meant to be charm. Morgause was aware of his lascivious nature from the start and found that he was much more agreeable when she was dressed provocatively. This was probably because he was too busy staring at her _assets_ to fully hear what she said. Tonight she wore a blood red dress that hugged every curve; it had sheer silver, sequined sleeves and a neckline, perfect for displaying the goods. Not that Cenred would ever get near those goods but it certainly helped to let him think so. The besotted fool often mistook her air of disgust for reluctant desire. "That color is quite becoming on you… of course if I were on you I'd be cumming too!" "Well we can't have that now can we?" The priestess flicked her wrist and smirked at the sound of the king's neck breaking.


	2. Chapter 2 - IPhone Trouble

IPhone Trouble

Summary: Gwen works at the apple store down the block from Arthur's Office building. Arthur keeps having issues with his Apple products… or maybe that's just an excuse to see Gwen.

Merlin smiled and waved hello to Arthur as he entered the store. He called to Gwen over the walkie – talkie "Your boyfriend is here!"

Gwen groaned, "Merlin I don't have a boyfriend." She replied flatly and hears a chuckle in response, then overheard him say

"Hi Arthur, you looking for Gwen?"

"Hey, umm sure if she's free, if not then whoever."

Arthur was secretly hoping that Gwen was free, seeing her always brightened his day and today he could really use that.

Merlin was still holding the button in on the walkie, allowing Gwen to over hear the conversation. He replied,

"Gwen will be right out to help you."

Gwen sighed. It's been a slow day, and they were not even close to reaching theirs ales goal. Since Arthur Penndragon was here that could change, he was their best customer, often making large purchases. Maybe today wouldn't be a total bust after all.

"Hello Mr. Penndragon. How are you today?"

"Guinevere… how many times must I tell you call me Arthur, please?" He replied with that signature smile that made her knees weak. It shouldn't be legal for someone to be THAT good looking.

'As always once more sir."

"C'mon Gwen it's not like he's a stranger, hell he's here more than some of the employees! We'd offer you a job Arthur but considering you can barely turn on your Mac book I don't think you're qualified."

Arthur glared at him. "Merlin…"

"Yes Arthur?"

"Shut up."

"Shutting up." Merlin replied with a cheeky grin, then walked away to check on another customer.

"Are you sure you two are friends? Because it looks like you can't stand him."

Arthur chuckled.

"Oh Merlins intolerable most of the time, and he follows me round like a lost puppy, or he used to until Morgana got her hooks in him, now he's more like an annoying kid brother."

That got a giggle from Gwen, Arthur loved the sound of her laugh. Things were going well so far. Gwen composed herself quickly, and returned to business.

"So what brings you in today?"

"Huh, oh umm… "Arthur forgot what he was going to say, Gwen's melodic laugh was still playing in his head and he shook it to clear his thoughts.

"Um I'm having trouble with my phone; I was hoping you could take a look at it."

"Sure what seems to be the problem?" Gwen replied as Arthur handed her his phone.

"It doesn't have your number in it." He replied quietly and sincerely.

Gwen didn't catch on though. She tilted her head to the side thoughtfully and replied "What do you mean 'my number'? Did you mean the store number or…"

 _Oh God, I can't do this._ Arthur thought before stammering a reply.

"Uh, no I um…"he ran a hand over his head disheveling his neatly combed hair. Gwen bit her lip to hide a smile. He looked adorable with his hair mussed up.

Before either Gwen or Arthur could react Merlin came back over to them and placed a hand on either of their shoulders.  
"What cabbage head is trying to say is: Will you have dinner with him?"

Arthur was going to kill Merlin. Gwen looked like she was going to run away. Merlin as usual had a stupid grin on his face like he was actually the genius his job title implied he was.

Gwen didn't understand what was happening. _He isn't really asking me out…is he? This is probably Merlin's idea of a joke. Arthur Penndragon is THE MOST ELIGIBLE bachelor in Britain, he can have any woman he wants. I'm no one. I must have miss heard him, Merlin is misunderstanding something. I'm sure of it._

Gwen couldn't speak, couldn't move as millions of thoughts ran through her mind at once. Arthur hadn't refuted Merlin's words, although he did look rather upset. Finally he spoke, his tone tinged with sadness.

"I'm sorry Gwen. That was a stupid thing to ask. I'll go now and I won't bother you again."

Gwen was still in a fog which didn't clear until Arthur was out the door.

"What…Merlin, what just happened…?"

"Gwen he's in love with you! Why do you think he's in here so much?"

"I-I don't know…I thought… well you two are friends and you're engaged to his sister so…"

Merlin released a frustrated sigh, "Do you like him?"

"What? I…yeah sure I like him, he's…very nice."

Merlin raised an eye brow at her comment. "Very nice. Is that really the extent of your feelings for him?"

"I I don't know! Ugh Merlin what is going on?"

"I really am an idiot then. I'm sorry Gwen. I thought you liked him too."

"I do like him, he's a terrific customer, and very sweet… and" she added under her breath "handsome."

"But?"

Gwen sighed "But he's Arthur Penndragon! I never even entertained the idea, or considered it possible…"

"Well maybe you should. You should go talk to him and sort out your feelings because he really cares about you, and Morgana and I care about you both and we want you to be happy. You make him happy Gwen and I think he makes you happy too."

Gwen thought about Merlin's words. It was true that her mood generally lifted when Arthur was a round, even when he didn't buy anything and just came by to bug Merlin. She couldn't deny that she was attracted to him, but who wouldn't be? If Arthur Penndragon of all people really had feelings for her… a nobody, maybe she should go for it.

Arthur crashed into his office chair glad not to have any more meetings today. He didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone the rest of the day.

Merlin had utterly humiliated him in front of Gwen today. He'd let Merlin convince him that Gwen had feelings for him too, it was wishful thinking. Gwen wasn't the kind of girl who was impressed by money and status and that's about all he had to offer.

He was about to tell his secretary that he was leaving for the day when someone knocked on his door.

He groaned "Go away!"

The knock came again this time followed by a soft feminine voice.

"Mr. Pend-Arthur? It's Gwen from down the street, ummm.. the Apple store. You um left your phone…"

The door suddenly opened to a cool Arthur, his expression unreadable. He didn't say anything just stared at her.

She held his phone up "Here. You left this."

"Thank you." He replied in a clipped tone.

They stared at each other for a few more seconds like they were each waiting for the other to say something. Finally Gwen said quietly "I guess I should get back to work."

"Hmph, good bye Guinevere." He turned and began to close the door but Gwen called out to him.

"Arthur wait!"

He turned towards her.

"Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what, Guinevere?"

She took a deep breath and gathered her courage before saying

"Do you actually want to have dinner with me?"

It was Arthurs turn for a deep breath and as he did he stepped closer to her. His blue eyes filled with hope as they looked down into Gwen's warm brown ones. He raised a hand to her cheek.

 _Alright Penndragon, time to put all the cards on the table, It's all or nothing now._

"No Guinevere… I want to have everything with you."

Gwen felt all of the air leave her lungs and couldn't seem to get it back.

Arthur almost turned away when she didn't say anything but before he could Gwen lifted up on her toes and quickly, softly brushed her lips against his.

Arthur's eyes searched hers imploringly.

"Can we start with dinner and see what happens from there?" she asked with a shy smile.

Arthur scooped her into his arms, lifted her off the ground and started spinning around making them both laugh in joy. Then his lips crashed into hers in a fervent passionate kiss that removed all doubts.


	3. Chapter 3 - Heavan

**Summary/Authors Note:** I hope you (my readers) like this, it is full of fluffy, cheesy Lines exchanged between Merlin and Morgana in a pub. A few tips so you don't get confused between all the back and forth. 1. Character's internal thoughts are in _italics,_ and I tried to mention the character' name before or after to make it clear whose head you are in. 2. Merlin and Morgana's notes to each other are in **bold**. Please read and review and feel free to leave suggestions of lines or characters for future stories that you would like to see. :D Enjoy!

HEAVAN

The pub was dark, loud and crowded; the perfect place to hide when you didn't want to be found. Morgana looked around for an empty table, preferably in a dark corner, unfortunately there were none. Instead she opted for a seat at the bar. Once she was situated she motioned for the bartender and asked for a vodka and cranberry. When he left to go make her drink she thought she saw someone looking at her but the man quickly looked away so she must have been mistaken.

 _Good, I just want to be left alone._ She thought.

The bartender returned with her drink and she placed some cash on the bar for payment. Morgana closed her eyes as she sipped the tart red liquid, the strong liquor sending delightful warmth through her. When her eyes opened she again caught a glimpse of someone staring at her from across the bar but again he quickly looked away. He must be mistaking her for someone else. She put her glass down and stared into the ruby liquid looking for answers she knew she wouldn't find. She let out a stressful sigh and moved a hand to the back of her head to undo her tightly wound bun. Unruly, ebony waves fell over her shoulders and she gently finger combed her dark tresses attempting to tame them at least somewhat. When she was finished she noticed the man across the bar staring at her… again. He stared for a second or two longer than before, not noticing that she noticed him staring. Feeling a bit more relaxed than when she sat down Morgana smiled and gave him a wink before turning back to her glass. There was little more than ice left now and she began looking for the bartender to order another. By the time her eyes located him he was already headed her way with another vodka and cranberry. He placed the drink in front of her and gave her a folded bar napkin.

"Thank you. I was just going to ask for that." The bartender nodded to the man across the bar who kept staring at her. The man in question was looking in every direction except her's now and she was becoming more and more curious. She took a sip of her drink and continued watching him as he looked at everyone on the bar except her. When he finally glanced her way she noticed his eyes were the brightest blue she had ever seen and his ears that stuck out to Timbuktu. His eyes were stunning and his ears although large seemed to suit him.

 _Not bad looking… not at all._ She thought. "Thank you" She mouthed and lifted her glass.

His eyes looked down at the bar in front of her and back up.

 _How odd._ Morgana thought, _What is he looking at?_ She glanced down and saw the napkin the bartender delivered with her drink. She picked it up and looked at the man who mouthed: "Read it."

Morgana unfolded the napkin, it said: **I can't take my eyes off of you… Unless you notice me. Then I'll quickly look away and act like nothing happened.**

She smirked. _Cute and clever, a good combination._ She decided to write back: **I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I noticed you.**

She folded it and when the bartender came by she passed it to him with instructions to deliver it to the mystery man across the bar. Morgana watched him read the note and even though the pub was poorly lit she could swear she saw him blush.

A few minutes later the bartender - now looking slightly annoyed - handed her another napkin.

This one read: **I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel.**

 _Ok, that was pretty cheesy. Maybe not so clever after all._

Morgana took a few sips of her drink and tried not to think of the mystery man. She didn't have to look at him to know his eyes were watching her. She could actually feel it now, or maybe that was just the alcohol taking affect. An idea came to her then and she decided to take action. She scribbled another note and passed it on.

"It's a good thing we're mates Merlin and that you tip well."

"Thanks Gwaine, I appreciate your help."

The bartender laughed as he went to serve another patron. "Boy would be helpless without me." He mumbled shaking his head.

Merlin opened the note from the beautiful goddess across the bar and his hopes were dashed.

It read: **Are you drunk?**

He sighed. "That's what I get for listening to Gwaine." He lifted his glass and poured the amber liquid down his throat, enjoying the slight burning effect the whiskey had.

Gwaine returned a few minutes later and gave his friend an expectant look.

"What?"

"D'you get her number yet?"

"What do you think?" He sighed and handed Gwaine the note and covered his ears when the bartender chuckled.

"I'm a lost cause aren't I?"

"Naw, she's just being cautious, playin' hard to get. Here's what you do."

Morgana hadn't gotten a reply from blue eyes. She wondered if she offended him, but then thought if he was that easy to offend they probably wouldn't work out anyway and she might as well cut her losses here.

She finished her second drink and was about to leave when the bartender placed another one in front of her… along with another napkin.

"Hope you're not leaving yet gorgeous! The fun is just getting started." He sauntered off with a wink and a flip of his hair.

This note read: **No, I'm just intoxicated by your eyes.**

"Aww." Morgana smiled, that was probably the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her. She quickly scribbled a reply and flagged down the bartender.

"His next one is on me."

Gwaine nodded and hurried along to pass on the note. When he arrived Merlin quickly snatched the note and opened it.

It read: **You are such a sap!**

Merlin hurriedly wrote his reply and sent the messenger on his way.

This one read: **Are you complaining?**

Morgana replied: **No… Just stating the facts.**

Merlin started to write his reply but Gwaine stopped him.

"Sending notes was cute for a bit but now you need to actually talk to her."

"What!?" Merlin exclaimed his face awash with fear. " I can't, what would I say?"

"Don't worry, something will come to you mate." Gwaine replied with a wink and a smirk. "Go now while she's not looking, you can surprise her!"

When merlin didn't move the bartender places a hand on his friend's shoulder and shoved him lightly causing Merlin to nearly fall off the stool.

"Hey! Watch it! You trying to break my arm or something?"

Gwaine just looked at him pointedly, "Go."

Morgana was checking an email from work on her phone and didn't notice Merlin leave his seat. When she looked up though she couldn't find him. _Did he leave without saying goodbye? Maybe he was waiting for someone and I was just a distraction to pass the time. Jerk!_ Morgana thought, just when her spirit had begun to lift it went crashing to the ground again. Then someone behind her spoke.

"You know it would be a lot easier for me to sweep- you off your feet if you stood up."

 _What the…_ Morgana turned around and her pale green eyes were met with a pair of striking blue orbs. She smiled at the mystery man who had finally gotten the courage to speak to her.

"You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache!" She tried for sarcasm but there was nothing sarcastic about the huge grin she wore or the giggle that escaped her when his own grin reached to his big dopey ears.

 _Wow, she is even more beautiful up close._ Merlin thought and tried to swallow his nerves. The cheesy lines had gotten him this far why stop now?

Her mystery man held out his hand to her and replied "My name is Merlin and… I was wondering if you would hold this for me while I go for a walk."

Morgana placed her hand in his and they walked toward the exit. Merlin paused to open the door for her. When they stepped into the quiet cool night air they stopped and for a moment to get a good look at each other.

 _She is beyond beautiful._ Merlin thought as he stared at her in awe.

 _OMG he is way cuter up close, actually dare I say it… quite handsome. I bet we'll have beautiful children. WHAT?! Why am I thinking about THAT? I've just met him. Oh god Morgana pull yourself together._ She giggled nervously and her smile faltered a little.

"Are you okay…?"

She realized she hadn't given him her name yet and mentally slapped herself. "Morgana, my name is Morgana."

"That is a beautiful name." he whispered and lifted her hand to his lips for a sweet but brief kiss, but kept his eyes on hers.

Morgana blushed, shook her head and sighed. "I can't believe I'm leaving the pub with a thief."

"What makes you think I'm a thief?" Merlin asked incredulously. _I thought things were going so well, what happened?_

Morgana looked at the ground and replied quietly, shyly "I Think you've stole my heart."

Merlin took a deep breath and gently placed his free hand on her cheek. Morgana looked up at him through her dark eyelashes. "No Morgana, you've stolen mine."

When Morgana lifted her head merlin seized the moment and dove in for a kiss. Morgana was surprised at first but quickly melted into it and brought her arms up around merlin's neck as his went around her waist. A cool breeze blew across morgana's heel as her left leg lifted and the back of her shoe hung from her foot but Morgana couldn't feel anything but the warmth of being in Merlin's arms.


End file.
